Goats
October 26, 2014 at 9:36 pm | Posted in Love, twins | 6 CommentsTags: goats4hire, hope, life after loss, new not so normal, smile, thoughts
I was trying to write this for a fun Friday post but I seemed to have missed it by a few days. I wanted to share a few of the things that have been making me smile recently. Please meet Darth Vadar:
“Luke, I am your GOAT. Adopt me and together we will rule the galaxy.”
And, Sable:
“What is a fine goat like me doing in a herd like this you might ask? I might ask that too – my coat is more beautiful than the finest sable in the world, bar none.”
These are just 2 of the goats who have been clearing the land for a new park near our house. When driving or walking through the neighborhood it has been fun watching these goats.
Evan and one of the twins even got interviewed about the park by the local NPR station. Click here if you would like to listen to the interview. (They did not get our names entirely correct but it is us.)
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
October 14, 2014 at 10:14 pm | Posted in Grief | 1 CommentTags: Atlanta Walk to Remember, baby loss, child loss, death of a baby, hope, new not so normal, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, ways to honor the memory of your child
“When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.” – Author Unknown (borrowed from the Atlanta Walk to Remember 2010 program)
Tomorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. As part of the day, everyone is invited to light a candle at 7 pm in all time zones, all over the world. The idea is that if everyone lights a candle at 7 pm and keeps it burning for at least 1 hour, there will be a continuous wave of light.
The candles that we will light were given out at the Atlanta Walk to Remember 2014. We will be lighting our candles at 7 pm hope you can join us.
September
October 6, 2014 at 10:58 pm | Posted in after death?, silver lining | 7 CommentsTags: cancer, hope, life after loss, Rockstar Ronan
September is childhood cancer awareness month. I know that it is now October but I had ordered these Spicy Monkey Spirithoods last month. These amazing hats were inspired by Maya Thompson’s son Ronan. He wore a spirithood after he had lost his hair during chemotherapy. At the age of 3 Ronan lost his battle to cancer. Before he died, Maya promised him she would keep on fighting. And, she has been waging war on childhood cancer ever since.
The company Spirithoods is donating 100% of profit from the SpicyMonkey to the The Ronan Thompson foundation to help in their fight against childhood cancer. The spirithoods have places to keep hands warm (so it is a hat and mittens!). There are also super secret pockets to hide things in.
I was not the only one in our house who was so excited when the box of Spirithoods finally arrived. . .
neighbors
September 15, 2014 at 10:40 pm | Posted in Grief, life after loss | 12 CommentsTags: baby loss, child loss, death of a baby, hope, miscarriage, new not so normal, Sad, thoughts
Our old neighbors stopped by the other day. They moved over a year ago and we have not seem them. We really like them and the twins played all the time with their oldest daughter. We were sad when they moved and we have missed them. So I was not prepared for my crazy mix of emotions when they drove up. Although now that I think about it, I should have been.
We were pregnant at the same time. Their 4-year-old boy happily raced up our driveway. My thoughts not so unexpectedly went to our never will be 4-year-old boy, Sawyer. And then out of the car toddled their youngest daughter. I remember her mom telling me that she was pregnant. I was so very happy for them and extra excited because I was hoping to tell them in a few weeks that we were expecting too. I never told them because I miscarried.
We caught up and watched the twins and their 3 children run around. They asked about our other neighbors. I told them about the new neighbor baby born in August and the other one born in July. I am so very happy for those neighbors too but I could feel the pit in my stomach and the familiar lump start to grow in my throat. We chatted until it was time to get their kids back in the car.
I kept it together until they drove away. I could not hold back the tears any longer. I miss Sawyer. I miss the baby I miscarried. I am happy for our neighbors but sad for us. I do not actually want their babies but seeing them makes me miss our lost children. Those feelings are so hard for me. Why can’t I just be happy for other people and not sad for who is missing from our lives?
Luckily, the twins were waiting for me to make their dinner and for that I am eternally grateful.
The Happy and The Sad
August 26, 2014 at 8:14 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, life after loss, Love | 10 CommentsTags: baby loss, bittersweet, child loss, dark days, death of a baby, hope, Jake, Jewish customs, new not so normal, Sad
The happy and the sad are so closely entwined during the month of August that I have whiplash. Jake’s birthday, my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary!!, more yahrzeits, more birthdays and tomorrow will be Jake’s death day. I know there are only so many days in a year so birthdays and anniversaries have to overlap at times but August for me has overwhelming extremes.
At 6:14 am tomorrow, it will be 9 years since we last held Jake. The day after will be the anniversary of his funeral. And all the days after that will continue to be bittersweet but maybe one day we will hold sweet Jake again.
Family Picture – August 27, 2005
Comment for a Cause
August 10, 2014 at 11:58 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, life lessons, Love | 1 CommentTags: birthday, Blogust 14, child loss, Heather Spohr, hope, Jake, new not so normal, Shot@Life
Jake’s 9th birthday would/should have been later this week. I am not sure that we will ever know why Jake left us so soon but I do know that Evan and I would have done anything we could have to prevent it from happening.
Unlike Jake, every twenty seconds, a child dies from a vaccine-preventable disease. Every twenty seconds, more parents are living in a world without their child/children. I do not want any parent to lose a child to a preventable disease because they did not have access to a medication.
Heather Spohr has partnered with Shot@Life, a campaign of the United Nations Foundation, to help provide life-saving vaccines where they are most needed. For every comment on Heather Spohr’s Post “A Chance For Health” or social share post received during the month of August, Walgreens will donate a vaccine to a child in need around the world.
Every child deserves the opportunity to have happy and healthy firsts. For Jake’s 9th birthday please consider clicking on this link and commenting on Heather’s post . Every comment gives another vaccine to a child who needs and wants one.
May the fourth be with you
May 4, 2014 at 11:48 pm | Posted in Grief | 4 CommentsTags: hope, March of Dimes, new not so normal, premature birth, ways to honor the memory of your child
Today is the unofficial holiday, “Star Wars Day“. I did not exactly feel the force with me today but last week during the March of Dimes walk I really do think I felt it. I looked around at the crowds and every one there had been impacted by the premature birth of a child. Our stories may all be different but we have all loved, hoped and in some cases lost. There were survivors walking among us but many of us walk in memory of our loved ones.
I saw people I have seen walk in years past. Still walking, like we do, in memory of our lost loved ones. My heart broke for all the new faces I saw last week. Every year I look into their eyes and wish I could take away the pain. Hopefully in years to come there will be more survivors.
We will continue to walk if not for ourselves than for them . . .
Jake’s Journey & Sawyer’s Strides
April 22, 2014 at 7:22 pm | Posted in after death?, Grief, Jake, life lessons, Love, Sawyer | 5 CommentsTags: baby loss, child loss, death of a baby, gratitude, hope, March of Dimes, new not so normal, ways to honor the memory of your child
No matter how far the distance you have traveled nor the failures that have gathered, hope would still meet you anywhere.
~ Dodinsky ~
Our family has walked in the March of Dimes’ “March for Babies” every year since Jake died. Originally our team was named Jake’s Journey. After Sawyer died we renamed it to Jake’s Journey & Sawyer’s Strides. We will be walking again this weekend.
The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. I believe that the March of Dimes is making a difference and saving babies.
I cannot do anything to bring back Jake or Sawyer but maybe, just maybe, I can help spare other parents the heartbreak of having to live in this world without their child/children.
Thank you to all those who supported our team this year and in past years. Thank you also to the hospital for matching funds. We appreciate all of your kindness and generosity. If you would like to support Jake’s Journey & Sawyer’s Strides please click this link.
Hoping for Milk
April 8, 2014 at 9:48 am | Posted in after death?, Grief, life after loss, Love | 8 CommentsTags: Benjamin Milk, brain cancer, child loss, dark days, grief, hope, hospice, new not so normal
Some days it is harder than others to find hope.
After Jake was born at 26 weeks with hydrops, I hoped he would be among the 30% of babies who survive these enormous obstacles. There was no miracle.
The horrible night we brought Sawyer to the emergency room, I hoped for the miracle that it would all be an awful mistake. There was no miracle.
I hoped for a miracle that would cure the cancer that Evan’s mom had or at least give her back the life she had. There was no miracle.
On Friday a close family friend lost his valiant battle with brain cancer. In case I have not mentioned it before I hate cancer!! His family along with all of us who loved him hoped he would win this battle. He did not.
When there is no more hope for our loved ones to remain with us we often shift to hoping to prevent that anyone else should have to go through this horrible journey. So, his family has formed a team, Everybody Needs Milk, in the Race for Hope DC. I hope that one day soon a cure for cancer is found.
This is a telephone pole at the end of my neighborhood running route. It is a reminder to me that there is hope everywhere (just sometimes we have to look for it harder than others).
Hope and Hair
March 28, 2014 at 4:58 pm | Posted in Love, normal? | 11 CommentsTags: cancer, donate hair, hope, new not so normal, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, parenthood
As of today one of the twins and I have officially donated enough hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths to make one wig for a cancer patient. It takes 6 donations to make a wig (I have donated 4 times and she cut her hair today for her 2nd donation!).
Hope that you all have a great weekend.
Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.
A Mourning Mom 