Burritos, Buddha & Baggage

September 30, 2011 at 11:20 pm | Posted in Grief, mourning, silver lining, twins | 7 Comments
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I have been trying to move past the fact that there may never be an answer to what caused Sawyer’s death.  It is hard to let go.  A moral from one of the twins’ books has been helping me with this process.  The twins’ great grandparents recently gave them a book call Zen Shorts by Jon J. Muth.  Have you ever heard the Buddhist tale about the Monk with the Heavy Load?

One day two traveling monks reached a town and saw a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. There were deep, muddy puddles and she couldn’t step across without getting mud on her silk robes. She impatiently scolded her attendants, who were carrying heavy packages.

The younger monk walked by the young woman without speaking. But the older monk stopped and picked her up on his back, carrying her across the mud. Not only did she not thank the monk, she shoved him out of her way when he put her down and scurried by him.

As the two monks continued on their way, the younger monk was brooding. After a long time, he finally spoke out. “That woman was so rude but you picked her up and carried her! She didn’t even thank you.”

“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk responded. “Why are you still carrying her?”

Letting go does not mean forgetting Sawyer or Jake.  It means moving forward.  It will not always be a straight path.  Luckily, I have some little monks with me on this journey.  Here they are in burrito pose (or more commonly known as shavasana):



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  1. Beautiful, thoughtful post and i love your adorable little monks.

  2. Definitely something to think about, isn’t it? I’m sorry for your loss.

  3. You have the cutest little monks. May you all have a long and happy journey together! A hug for you, Lanie, and another three for Evan and the twins. Cornelia

  4. Thank you for sharing the monk’s tale. It’s hard to let go isn’t it? Better than letting go I think it is best to “set it down”. I put grief down from time to time because the load is so very heavy. Setting down does not mean to forget it means to rest, to move forward, and to remember with a lighter heart.


  5. What gorgeous little monks you have helping you with this difficult journey.

  6. I love the post. I believe you can appreciate your beautiful monks even more than most people because of your loss. You will never take them for granted. So many parents do not realize the gifts they are given. So many children suffer because of it. You and your beautiful family will always have that appreciation and a very special realization of how precious and special life is.

  7. Thank you so much for that story, and for sharing a bit of your soul here. I popped over from Mamapundit and am so inspired by your beautiful story. I’ll be back, and thanks again.

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