Another Anniversary

August 27, 2011 at 9:58 am | Posted in Grief, mourning | 11 Comments
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Six years ago at 6:14 am today, Evan and I held Jake for the first and last time.

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I recently saw The Help, which in case you have not read the book or seen the movie, it is really about Mississippi in the early 1960’s. However, one of the main characters, Aibileen’s son died 3 years before the book began.

“After I spent a year dreading it. . .” the anniversary of his death finally comes. In the movie I think Aibileen said something like “I have trouble breathing today but to everyone else it is just another day to play bridge.”

“Three years just ain’t long enough. A hundred years ain’t gonna be long enough.”  I could not agree with her more – 6 years is not long enough.  I will miss Jake forever.

It is just another day. The world without Jake continues. Life goes on, as it must.


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  1. I was watching a repeat of Oprah yesterday, and Toni Morrison was a guest. She was talking about the loss of her adult son in the previous year. She said she expects to be sad for the rest of her life, but that that is okay with her. She said that to get over the sadness wouldn’t be honoring his memory. She was giving herself permission to remember and to feel the loss, regardless of whatever else is happening in her life. That was really powerful to me. I feel like we are sometimes expected to move on at some point, and we know that’s just not ever going to happen. And that is okay. Hugs to you on this special anniversary.

  2. Lanie and Evan – I send my strong wishes and warm thoughts to both of you and hugs for the twins. Love, Cornelia

  3. Sending warm hugs and thoughts your way, today.


  4. We never move on, we simply move forward. I am missing my husband today especially so. Perhaps him and Jake can take care of both of us today. We are getting hit with the hurricane Irene today. The entire north side of my town is under mandatory evacuation orders. I so wish his strong arms could be here to tell me everything is going to be okay. Somehow I am going to weather this storm (as all storms we have weathered) and come out into the sunlight once it passes.
    Blessings to all who mourn,


  5. I almost left this page without commenting, because there are no words for what you are living through. I am so deeply sorry for your loss and can’t imagine what life has been like for you both. I believe, and I have to say that I am not religious, but when you are down to nothing, God is up to something. I hope you can find joy again, no matter how small……the little things will lead to the big things. (((((hugs)))))))

  6. Big hugs and thoughts are with you

  7. Sending my love to you my friend. I wore my Newcomb ring today to remind me to pray for you.

  8. Thinking of you my dear. Sending lots and lots of love your way. Love, Amy

  9. You are in my thoughts always, but especially during this month. Love and hugs to you and your whole family.

  10. If it helps.. fancy nancy and the cat miss you all a lot! they want a playdate tomorrow they said. special extra big hugs being sent your way… btw – I forgot again to give you the rocks for jake and sawyer the kids collected! DOH!

  11. […] 50th wedding anniversary!!, Jake’s yahrzeit, more birthdays and tomorrow will be Jake’s death day.  I know there are only so many days in a year so birthdays and anniversaries have to overlap at […]

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