The Bad News and The Good News

September 8, 2014 at 10:45 pm | Posted in Grief | 7 Comments
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The BAD news –  – Jake and Sawyer’s nameplates/headstones are officially rusting (not sure if rusting is the right word but see the picture below).  We spoke to the cemetery people and apparently the manufacturers did not put the correct finish on (or, they completely forgot the finish).  So, this is what it looks like at the moment:


Do you see the border rusting (or peeling away)?  The letters are starting to go too.  It makes me crazy.  We spoke to the nice people at the cemetery today.  They are going to fix it. The nameplates/headstones and the granite will all be replaced AGAIN.

The GOOD news – –  As part of their Fall collection, Method brought back Rice Milk & Mallow (the scent that reminds us of Sawyer).  And instead of just letting us find it in the store, they sent us all of this!



Kindness Campaign

July 20, 2013 at 10:18 pm | Posted in Jake, life lessons, Love, Sawyer | 1 Comment
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At the age of three, Mattie Stepanek started to write poetry to cope with the death of his older brother.  Mattie and his brother suffered from a rare form of muscular dystrophy, dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy.  A few of his books are Heartsongs and Hope Through Heartsongs.  Mattie died a month before his 14th birthday.  His sister and two brothers also died from the disease during early childhood. His mother has the adult form, diagnosed only after all four of her children were born.

Mattie’s mother, Jeni, continues to spread Mattie’s message of peace and hope.  Her strength and courage is remarkable.  In honor of Mattie’s birthday (July 17th) and death day (June 22nd), Jeni has held Peace and Kindness Campaigns.  Above is a slideshow of flyers used for the Kindness Campaign this summer.

Speaking of kindness, a gigantic thank you to Sara, my cousin.  She wrote to Method after reading my last post.  Method’s customer service could not find any useable soap but they wrote back a really nice response.  Thank you again Sara!

Scent of Sawyer

July 14, 2013 at 1:02 pm | Posted in Grief, life lessons, Sawyer, venting | 9 Comments
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One of the lessons that Jake and Sawyer have taught me is not to sweat the small stuff.  In the grand scheme of things there is so much stuff that just does not matter in the end.

This post, however, is about small stuff.   Method has discontinued their line of babies and kids products.  I know that there is most likely a business reason why the line did not make it.  However, I just wish they could bring the product line back.  We have used their products (body wash, shampoo, lotion, laundry detergent and dryer sheets).  We used a particular scent — rice milk and mallow — with Sawyer.  We all loved the smell, and appreciated that they were natural products with nothing to harm Sawyer’s (or any of our) skin.

The smell of the products reminds me of Sawyer.  So, after he died, we continued to use the products.  The frequent and sweet reminder of him in the smell of our clothes or at the twins’ bath time is, in a way, comforting.  Now the product line has been discontinued, and it is hard to find the products anywhere.  I am sure that at some point, we won’t be able to find them at all anymore.

One more small bit of Sawyer that will no longer be in our lives.  Yes, it is a small thing.  But it is one more small thing I wish I could change.

Sawyer and Nanny

And, a giant thank you to Evan for finding me some of the last of the bottles on eBay!

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