Sunshine and Rain (part 2)
February 28, 2013 at 11:24 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, Love, normal?, Sawyer, twins | 7 CommentsTags: baby loss, child loss, dark days, death of a baby, hope, Jewish customs, kids are smart, perspective
Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. The rain has stopped and there is some sunshine through the clouds.
When it rains one of the twins usually says “HaShem is crying.” This week, I decided to ask, “Why do you think HaShem is crying?” He responded, “I don’t know, mama. Maybe HaShem is very sad.”
Ever since Jake and then Sawyer died I do feel like the rain is tears. Sometimes I will confess that I am glad it is raining because it matches my sadness. And, as an added bonus the raindrops disguise the tears running down my cheeks.
However, the other twin chimed in with her own answer. “Maybe they are not tears of sadness. Maybe they are tears of happiness.”
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A Mourning Mom 
I love the things your kiddos say. Wise beyond their years. Honest too. I love that. Thinking of you and wishing you much sunshine. (send me your rain 😉
Comment by Amy Johnson— March 1, 2013 #
I really like the positive comments!
And how did I miss Part 1?
Comment by Julie— March 1, 2013 #
I think the moments between happiness and sadness are not all that far apart for me any more. Lovely images of your children.
Comment by Geves Lafosse— March 1, 2013 #
Bless you. I remember writing about sunshine through the rain too. It took me a very long time before the sun came out. I remember even the sunshine being painful, as I thought of days I had planned with my daughter, taking her to the park, and the things that she would never see.
Your writing is beautiful. Please do join our group on Facebook. Although I am in the UK, there are women there from USA, Canada, Ireland and Australia too. Many of us are further in grief. But our child is there every day in our heart. It has been 3 years for me now. So, I guess she is here to stay.
Sending you a hug x
Comment by positivagirl— March 1, 2013 #
How’d those kiddos get so darn smart? It’s amazing the beautiful things that they come up with! Glad to hear the sun is shining, and that either way you have a beautiful different way to view the rain too.
Comment by Daphne— March 1, 2013 #
I like to try and think when it rains that it means that all the angel babies are having a massive water fight. It got me through those extremely dark days last year when the twins died.
Comment by 17hobbitt— March 1, 2013 #
God bless the children, as they say! Love the retelling of these stories.
xoxo
Comment by Eden— March 1, 2013 #