Yesterday
March 4, 2013 at 11:07 pm | Posted in after death?, Cemetery, Grief, life after loss | 12 CommentsTags: child loss, dark days, death, death of a baby, family, grandparents, Jewish customs, life after loss, new not so normal, perspective
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of Evan’s mom’s death. It was also the day of the unveiling of her headstone. She had asked that this poem be read:
To Those Whom I Love And Those Who Love Me
written by Mary Alice Ramish
When I am gone, release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that I have had so many years
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness
I thank you for the love you each have shown
But now it is time I travelled on alone
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It is only for a while that we must part
So bless the memories within your heart
I will not be far away, for life goes on
So if you need me, call and I will come
Though you cannot see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All of my love around you soft and clear
Then, when you must come this way alone
I will greet you with a smile and say welcome home
We placed stones on her grave. Evan and I had brought stones from Sawyer and Jake’s headstone.
I am so lucky to have had her as my mother-in-law. I will always be here to tell the twins stories about their amazing Mom Mom. I know I wrote in my last post that I bargained my life (and Evan’s) but it was never with the intention of leaving the twins. I was just a desperate mother who wanted the impossible.
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A Mourning Mom 
What a lovely tribute to “Mom Mom”. Fletcher and Alyssa may not remember her on their own, but the lovely photos you posted will be a reminder for them and they give an endearing picture of a loving grandmother. Love to you all. Cornelia
Comment by Cornelia Levine— March 5, 2013 #
Such wonderful photographs to have and to cherish! The memories will always be with you.
Comment by Julie— March 5, 2013 #
Memories, yes… still, they don’t make up for ‘time missed’…
The most difficult part for me in my Mum’s absence is my daughter not having a grandmother, who would have loved and cherished her with such love and adoration. Just like you, I hope that she’s looking after Amya, Ananda Mae’s twin sister, instead… x
Comment by Nathalie Himmelrich— March 5, 2013 #
Really lovely poem. Some children are so fortunate to get to spend a very long time with their grandparents and some less. I hope it was not too difficult for Evan.
Comment by Susan FB— March 5, 2013 #
Beautiful poem and what wonderful pictures. I know she is missed.
Comment by Daphne— March 5, 2013 #
She was beautiful. So sorry that she is gone. My father died when I was 22, so my kids never met him. I told so many stories that they felt as if they knew him. Of course, that’s a poor substitute, but telling those stories will be meaningful.
Now, my daughter will have to tell her future children the story of her brother, the uncle they will never meet. So much loss.
Comment by GrahamForeverInMyHeart— March 5, 2013 #
Thank you sweetheart for sharing the poem and the wonderful photos. So much happiness there, and so many smiles — never can have too much of that or too many of those. She lives on every day in all of us, and you are doing so many wonderful things to keep her spirit and love alive. I love you.
Comment by Evan— March 5, 2013 #
Thanks Lanie–truly–thanks. I love looking at the pictures. I miss Mom Mom. We love you guys. And to you, and GrahamForeverInMyHeart (above note)–keep on telling the stories so our children will know about their grandparents–keep them around in spirit.
Comment by Eden— March 5, 2013 #
Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. Thinking of you.
Comment by Kristen— March 6, 2013 #
Lanie what a wonderful poem. Your kiddos will always know their Mom Mom, because of the wonderful memories you built for them in time spent together, pictures, stories, and love. You are an inspirational mom. Well done.
Comment by Amy Johnson— March 6, 2013 #
I LOVE those photos. So much beauty.
Comment by Dilovely— March 6, 2013 #
What a gorgeous tribute, you are in my thoughts as always. xo
Comment by Jessica (@jessbwatson)— March 7, 2013 #