A Mourning Mom

Second Star

When Jake died the hospital gave us a packet of information to take home.  I remember trying to read it through my tears and being unable to make out most of the words.  When I got to the page on “Ways to Honor Your Child” I got a tissue, wiped my eyes and read.  One of the ways was to name a star.  Before I knew it I was on the phone buying a star for Jake:

Jake’s Star

The star date is his birthday and it is in the constellation of Leo (Jake’s zodiac sign).  We have the star certificate with all of Jake’s other belongings.  I think before now the only other person I told that I bought a star was Evan.  Buying the star made me feel a bit better for the moment.  It was something I could do for Jake.  Funny how time changes some things. . .

After Sawyer died I did not buy a star.  The thought of buying another star did not make me feel better.  Recently, I came across Jake’s star certificate and decided that I did want a star for Sawyer after all.

I tried to order it online and then finally called.  I wanted Sawyer’s star date to be his birthday, just like Jake’s.  The star registry only goes back 2 years – which meant 2012, 2013 or this year.  There is no 2009 option.  I chose this year  – for Sawyer’s 5th birthday.

Sibling rivalry is an issue at times in our house with the twins.  I will never know if Sawyer would be unhappy that Jake had a star and he did not but the second star bought to avoid any worries.  It made me feel a bit better and it was something I could do for Sawyer.