A Mourning Mom

Silent and Stuck

Sawyer was born right before Thanksgiving and died Christmas night.  So, since he died the holidays have been especially hard.  If I am honest with myself the holidays have been excruciatingly difficult since Jake died.  Pretty much November, December and most of August (the anniversaries of Jake’s birth and death) are not my favorite times of year.

Life is a roller coaster.  I definitely got that message.  On a roller coaster there are usually some ups after the downs.  However, this year after the anniversary of Sawyer’s death there was no up.  My grandfather died.  My cousin’s partner lost her battle to breast cancer.  Funeral. Shiva. Unveiling. Family drama.

Evan is fine now but had a few health issues that once again shook me to my core.  I have been stuck.  There might not be an up in sight but I have to keep moving forward.