Dear Mother’s Day AngelsMay 12, 2014 at 9:24 pm | Posted in Jake, life lessons, Love, Sawyer | 7 Comments
Tags: baby loss, death of a baby, gratitude, holidays, loss of a child, mother's day, new not so normal, thoughts
Dear Jake and Sawyer,
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you both, but some days are harder than others. Mother’s Day is one of those days. Logically it is just another day. You are both gone every. single. day. It is not like the first days, weeks and months after you died when the tears so often streamed down my face without me even realizing. Now most of the time my tears are tucked farther away. The sadness and the joy of loving you both is a part of me.
I know I am not alone. There are so many other mothers in this club with me. There are motherless mothers, motherless fathers and those who have just lost. Death is part of life. And no matter how hard some days can be life goes on.
I like to believe that you both send things my way to make certain days (like Mother’s Day) easier for me. I wanted to thank you both for quite a few of those things this year.
- Thank you for your amazing brother and sister. They make me so very happy, except when they don’t (see 2nd bullet).
- Thank you especially for helping us find your sister when she ran away the first and SECOND time yesterday. One time she really had to go to the bathroom and the other time she thought she was being funny. Neither your dad or I laughed AT ALL.
- Thank you for making me smile when your dad and I were given a “gift bag” when we visited you at the cemetery. I guess they had the Mother’s Day cookout last year so the cemetery marketing people this year opted for gift bags. . .
- Thank you for showing me hope on days that are especially hard to find it. I found another “hope” telephone pole on my running route yesterday!