May 2, 2012 at 10:18 pm | Posted in after death?, Grief, life after loss, life lessons, normal?, twins | 23 Comments
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Aibileen, from The Help, whispers this quote in Mae Mobley’s ear every day so she will understand that she is special.  Are there words which I can whisper into my toddlers’ ears that will help them understand about their brothers?

The other day I was driving the twins and listening to their conversation.  They were discussing one of their friend’s new baby sister.  The conversation went something like this:

“We have babies too.”

“Our babies are not growing.”

“They are flowers.”

“Flowers grow.  So, our babies are growing.”

“Mama, what kind of flowers are Jake and Sawyer?”

A long silence from me.  I finally come up with, “want to go to the new playground?”


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  1. Oh my dear, I don’t know how I would have answered this either.

    They are growing flowers, but not here with you…in heaven maybe?

    Such beautiful kids you have 🙂

    • Heaven sounds good to me. Thank you so much.

  2. They are beautiful, gorgeous flowers that are in our hearts. Always.

  3. you touched me. i had a flower also. thank you for sharing the hurt in your soul.

    • I like to think that all the flowers are somewhere having a cosmic playdate. Thank you.

  4. I think it is a priceless moment. If we could all just think about things so simply as children do 😉

    • I agree – the world would be a very different place if we could all think aobut things simply.

  5. They are Forget Me Nots. They are sunflowers, they are moonflowers, They are every flower, everywhere love grows. And they are watered with our tears.


    • I love all of those flowers – thank you for your thoughtful comment. xoxo

  6. Dahlin’, I love the honesty that comes from Fletcher and Alyssa and I love that they talk about Jake and Sawyer. No answers, but lots and lots and lots of love.

    • Thank you for all the love – sending it right back to you. xoxo

  7. I like that…flowers. I think of Jason when I see certain flowers sometimes…varying colors of roses…because that was his flower of choice to give to people he cared for…daffodils…because they are so bright and sunshiney…just like he was…tulips remind me of going many times as a family to visit the rainbow-colored tulip fields in northern Washington…daisies…because he loved “You’ve Got Mail” and thought daisies were such a happy flower…and gave daisies to cheer up a sad friend…

    • Jason definitely sounds like he is many flowers. My thoughts are with you and him. Take care. xoxo

  8. It speaks very highly of you as a mom that your twins know that they can ask you any question about their brothers. You’ve clearly been open with them, even though it’s so very painful for you. You are a whole family of flowers.

    • Thank you – I have never thought of us all as being flowers – I like that image. We are all flowers but in different gardens for the moment.

  9. They have the most beautiful way of talking about and remembering their brothers. They are flowers,and lights, and love and hugs and everything else.

    • Thank you – I am hoping that they will always talk about and remember their brothers. xoxo

  10. amourningmom, thank you for leaving a comment on my joshua-mom blog. And especially that you will pray for me. Even though it has been eight years since my baby boy, although he was 25, died. I like your blog, Mother of two boys that have gone on to Paradise!

    • Thank you – my thoughts are with you and Joshua. Take care.

  11. It doesn’t matter what kind of flowers they are. The point is, they’ve taken root in all of us.

    • I agree with you 100% – it does not matter what kind of flowers they are. . . xoxo

  12. I could not agree more. xoxo

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