Planning

February 10, 2012 at 8:46 am | Posted in Cemetery, Death, Grief, life after loss, parents, traditions | 7 Comments

The day has arrived, as I knew it would – Sawyer’s headstone is here. And it is 100% correct. Although I will never think that it is right that we have 2 headstones for our children in the first place.

 “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”  – Tom Clancy

Evan met me at the cemetery and we discussed what we should do next. Planning an unveiling is not going to be on anyone’s top 10 fun things to do list – but we are going to give it a try. I want so badly to be planning a play date for Sawyer –  not this. I know that we do not have to do it. There are no rules saying that we must have an unveiling.

I know in my gut that I will regret it if we do not have the unveiling. We will not plan birthday parties, play dates, gym classes, summer camps – the list is so very long of the things we will not plan and do for Sawyer. This we can do.

     When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things
you didn’t do more than the ones you did.  -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  

7 Comments »

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  1. This reality does not make any sense–maybe we can call the editor?

  2. so sorry this is what you have to plan for your sweet boy.

  3. Dear Lanie – I think, you came to the right conclusion on the unveiling. It’s part of the traditions of your faith that you’ve kept and it may bring you some solace. Maybe, a sense of closure in what you can do for Sawyer will lift a bit of the weight. Are you thinking of having Fletcher and Alyssa participate? They might enjoy singing a lullaby for Sawyer.
    With love, Cornelia

  4. I am so sorry, too. (But thank God the headstone is finally correct.)

  5. I wish you lots of courage as you do this. It’s just so unfair. I hate that you have to do this. xo

  6. […] The plan is that we will try to straighten it out and hope that it grows better.  It is best to plant trees in the colder weather so we will reevaluate in the fall.  It makes me feel better just to have a plan. […]

  7. […] went to visit with Jake and Sawyer last Friday before i went to New York for a family celebration .  This is […]


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