Reality Bites

January 8, 2013 at 10:54 pm | Posted in Death, Grief, mourning, normal? | 9 Comments
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quote - reality

Today it has been 1 week since I held my grandfather’s hand as he took his last breaths.  He is no longer suffering.  The funeral is over.  He was 100.  His death was not a shock.  Death is part of life.  I repeat these statements to myself several times a day.   So, why do I still feel like I am walking around in an alternate universe?

Evan, the twins and I have returned to work, school and life in general.

People ask “How were your holidays?”  I want to scream, my grandfather died on New Years Day.  Sawyer died the day after Christmas 3 years ago.  I officially hate the holidays!!!  However, I instead take a deep breath and respond, “Fine, how were yours?”

My thoughts are scattered.  It took me less than 1 day to lose the new insurance card Evan handed to me.  I got lost driving somewhere I go almost every week.

I am figuring out another new normal.

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9 Comments »

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  1. It will be OK. Remember, you have so many friends walking with you and ready to help.

  2. Thinking of you Lanie. Sometimes it’s not possible to understand. You just have to get through each day. Love you. K

  3. just keep swimming…… hugs to you

  4. A wise person told me once… every loss brings up every other loss that we have experienced. It makes grief and grieving very complicated. Knowing it helps me. I hope it helps you. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself lots of grace. You are an amazing woman.

  5. It’s okay to lose your cards and to lose your car and to lose your keys. We are all here for you when you get lost.

  6. Dahlin’, I am thinking of you and sending love and strength. Be gentle with yourself, you have been through a lot. I think you are an amazing woman. Hang in there, one day at a time.

  7. We too were thinking about and so saddened to hear about the loss of your grandfather on New Year’s Day–we didn’t want to know that another holiday had taken place in which you had to deal with death. Not fair. We’re thinking of you and your family–and hope that someday in the future you will be able to think of New Year’s Day as the holiday in which to celebrate the long, wonderful life it sounds like your grandfather lived. In the meantime, throw away the calendar and know that your friends and family are here for you.

  8. Grief comes and goes in waves. Up and down, up and down, and eventually over time the pain will lessen. Rage when you must rage, and rest when you must rest, and do not judge your grieving process. Accept it for what it is, and ride the waves: it hurts because it mattered.

  9. […] cannot change my reality but I can help others.   I will do anything and everything I can to prevent other children from […]


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