How are you? (part 2)
November 14, 2011 at 10:28 pm | Posted in Grief, mourning, silver lining | 10 CommentsTags: child loss, Jake, life after loss, new not so normal, Sawyer, yoga
This question has got to be one of the most common greetings. I wrote my first post about it. People really just want you to say all is well and move on. I used to be able to do that. I would even ask the question myself. After Jake died, I could not any longer. It felt like a lie to say, “I am fine, how about you?” I have tried all kinds of tactics to avoid answering this question. I quickly ask the other person how they are and never answer at all. I say things like, “I am hanging in here.” Or, “Just taking it all day by day.”
I know that I am not in the dark valleys of grief all the time. Jake and Sawyer did die. I am always sad about their deaths. I do try to still live. However, I never truly feel fine. Until this weekend. In my yoga class the instructor said, “How are you?” And then he followed up with, “We are all fine, aren’t we?” And then he defined fine for me:
F*!*!D UP INSECURE NEUROTIC EMOTIONAL
I can now honestly answer, “I am fine thanks, how are you?”
Namaste.
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A Mourning Mom 
Perfect!
Comment by Kelcey— November 14, 2011 #
I can live with that answer. It certainly makes sense.
Comment by Beth T.— November 14, 2011 #
LOL.. yes, I think I’ll just answer “fine” from on…
Linda
Comment by The Good Cook— November 14, 2011 #
Love it!
Comment by Ali Barnes— November 15, 2011 #
love it!
Comment by Lisa— November 15, 2011 #
This made my day! Thank you.
Comment by Cate— November 15, 2011 #
I guess I’m fine too. 🙂
I’m thinking about you today. So sorry for your losses.
Comment by Elisa— November 15, 2011 #
That’s hysterical. And totally not expected from a yoga instructor!
Comment by Daphne— November 16, 2011 #
Can’t wait to take a yoga class with you from this instructor!
Comment by Eden— November 17, 2011 #
whew… now i know in fact i have always been fine. glad you are fine too!
Comment by Susan— November 18, 2011 #