A Mourning Mom

When the Walls Come Tumbling Down

August 26, 2013 at 6:14 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, life after loss, Love | 4 Comments
Tags: baby loss, child loss, death of a baby, Elisabeth Kübler Ross', Jake, new not so normal, old house, perspective, post traumatic stress disorder, premature birth

As I wrote about here, the house where I was pregnant with Jake was sold a few months ago.  We had a room for Jake in that house but he never came home to it.  There was a time after Jake died that I had such anger towards that room.  I wanted to renovate it, destroy it or at least move far, far away from it.

My anger was not rational but it seemed very real to me at the time.  Along with denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance;  anger is one of Elisabeth Kübler Ross’ 5 stages of grief.  I guess I did not have any one to be angry with so why not get mad at a room painted baby blue?  So, when we sold that house we knew that it would most likely be torn down.  The other day, it looked like this:

The next day when I drove by, all that was left was this:

It is just Jake’s room.

Now the whole house is gone, but Jake will never be forgotten.  We love you Jake.