should you switch ob/gyns after your baby dies?
October 20, 2014 at 10:18 pm | Posted in Jake, life after loss, Sawyer | 4 CommentsTags: baby loss, death of a baby, doctors, new not so normal, ob/gyn, post traumatic stress disorder, thoughts
After Jake died we did switch ob/gyns but not initially. Evan and I decided that so few people knew Jake and our ob/gyn at the time was one of those few. It also seemed daunting to start all over with a new doctor. We saw her throughout the pregnancy with the twins however, we switched right after. I will explain that story in another post.
I still go to the ob/gyn group that we saw during my pregnancy with Sawyer. I love the doctor who delivered Sawyer but I decided to switch doctors within the group for my annual check ups. Just like after Jake died it seemed like starting over with a new doctor was too daunting. By staying in the practice I have not had to start over from the beginning with all the forms.
I (most likely along with a majority of the female population) do not love going for my annual check ups. I wonder if the waiting room is so upsetting for everyone. How does it feel to look at all the happy baby pictures on the walls when you have not buried 2 babies? I do not think that there ob/gyns who specialize in bereaved mothers but maybe they are out there. Would you switch ob/gyns if your baby died?
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A Mourning Mom 
I haven’t, however, I literally cry in the parking lot after every single appt even if it’s a routine one.
I feel like the one who messes up the grading curve, everyone else’s babies live, I don’t know why mine don’t. I’d like to stop requiring him to be the bearer of bad news.
Comment by Amelia— October 21, 2014 #
I’m so sorry Lanie, for every single thing that adds to your grief. None of it seems fair at all!
Comment by Daphne— October 21, 2014 #
I’ve been asked this question a few times lately. I just miscarried for the 3rd time and everyone wants to know if I’m going to find a new doctor/practice. For me, the answer is no. I know almost half the doctors in the practice and they know me. They know my history, they know what’s happened. We’ve had the hard conversations. They have referred me to a specialist who I’ll visit in the new year. My doctors will work hand in hand with the specialist to help figure out what has happened to my angels and to help prevent it from ever happening again. It stings walking back into the office full of beautiful bellies. It hurts going into the ultrasound room knowing they are just checking out my empty uterus. But to me, there is comfort in seeing the same doctors, nurses, and techs.
This works for me and I know it might not work for everyone. I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world!
Comment by bepboyd— December 2, 2014 #
[…] happy pregnant people (knowing that I am living every parents worst nightmare). I thought about switching (I did after Jake died) but I have remained at the same […]
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