Letter to the Twins’ Kindergarten Teachers
September 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm | Posted in life after loss, Love, normal?, twins | 11 CommentsTags: baby loss, child loss, family, Jake, life after loss, new not so normal, Sawyer, thoughts, twins, unexplainable
Dear Ms. B. and Ms. K.,
We have been having a great year so far. The twins love being in your classes. We completed the Family Tree homework assignment which was due today. I thought I should clarify about a few of the leaves. The ones which I am specifically referring to are the following:
I honestly do not know what the twins will say about these leaves when it is their turn to present. They may say something like “Jake and Sawyer are flowers.” Or, they could tell the class how they bring stones to Jake and Sawyer. It is also possible they could tell the class which Halloween costumes they have picked out for Jake and Sawyer.
Jake was their older brother. He died before the twins were born. Sawyer was their younger brother. He died when the twins were 2 1/2 years old. I do not know if they have any real memories of Sawyer.
The twins will not cry as they excitedly tell you and the rest of their class about their brothers. They will happily talk and talk about them both. They will smile as they explain to you how much they wish Jake and Sawyer would grow.
If you have any questions please feel free to let me know (I will try my best but I can not promise that I will not cry).
Thanks again,
The Twins’, Jake’s and Sawyer’s Mom
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A Mourning Mom 
You are an amazing mom.
Comment by Kristen— September 4, 2012 #
Lanie, I am addicted to your blog. I think it should be published and made required reading for everyone. You are an inspiration. Thank you for keeping this up!
Comment by Aimee Alexander— September 4, 2012 #
Ms B. and Ms. K are both truly lucky teachers to have Fletcher and Alyssa in their classes. I know they will teach Fletcher and Alyssa quite a lot, but I am also positive that Fletcher and Alyssa will do a lot of teaching as well, especially in this assignment. You have raised such great kiddos with an amazing awareness of family and all that truly means. You are my inspiration. Thanks Lanie.
Comment by Amy Johnson— September 4, 2012 #
I love this explanation. Especially the part about the twins not crying about their brothers. My boys act similarly when talking about their angel brother. Thanks for sharing!
Comment by Natalie Clemens— September 5, 2012 #
This is so powerful Lanie. And powerful that the twins will be talking to the class about their brothers. Our relationship to death is far too taboo in this culture and they are participating at their young age in turning that around. Xozxoxo
Comment by Debbie— September 5, 2012 #
You are amazing. And those twins are something pretty special too.
Comment by Daphne— September 5, 2012 #
Beautifully done by twins and Mom. 🙂
Comment by Mari— September 7, 2012 #
Lanie, you are truly amazing.
Xo
Comment by robin— September 8, 2012 #
thats awesome! I am a teacher and a mother and having an explanation and something that is so powerful as this is just super that you could open up and explain and have honesty in the open.
Comment by natasha— September 11, 2012 #
I can so relate! T still includes his little brother in any family-related school assignment. Thanks for sharing!
Comment by jenrad-HelpingHimGrieve— September 12, 2012 #
Very powerful post! Any idea if the twins teachers actually had a chance to read it? If so, I think they would have been touched as well…
Comment by Eden— September 21, 2012 #