Dancing Dreidels
December 16, 2011 at 4:00 pm | Posted in Grief, Love, silver lining, twins | 14 CommentsTags: child loss, Jewish customs, new not so normal, parenthood, Sawyer, twins
Today the twins performed in their preschool holiday show. The first class to come out featured one of our singing candles:
Our other singing candle came out later with her class:
The younger 2-year-old class performed as dancing dreidels. The class seemed like it was missing someone. I could almost see the place where Sawyer should have been standing. I looked around the room to see if anyone else noticed. The moms who were pregnant at the same time I was pregnant with Sawyer were busy taking pictures of their adorable children.
I squeezed Evan’s hand and whispered, “this should be Sawyer’s class. . . ” Evan said, “I know.” Sawyer should be up on the stage too. I did not think anyone else noticed his absence.
I was wrong.
As we were leaving, the twins were piling all their papers and endless other accessories into my arms. I was trying to hold everything along with the balloons they each had been given. I accidentally let one go. I braced myself for the cries to retrieve the balloon. Instead they said, “Sawyer likes blue, that balloon is for him. Let the other balloon go too! The other balloon is for Jake.”
And so I let it go.
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A Mourning Mom 
Wonderful story.
Comment by Patty— December 16, 2011 #
That gave me chills. Your children are amazing and perceptive and beautiful.
Comment by Daphne— December 16, 2011 #
so incredibly sweet. beautiful.
Comment by kelcey— December 16, 2011 #
Oh Lanie . . . beautiful. Congratulations, you have amazing children!
Comment by Maryanne— December 16, 2011 #
So sad and sweet!! miss you!
Comment by SusanFB— December 17, 2011 #
What a blessing that they remembered. Thanks for sharing this; I needed to read it today 😉
Comment by Elisa— December 17, 2011 #
It is so great that they have this knowing. Thinking of you much these days Lanie as we approach this sad anniversary. Sending you love and huge hugs. xoxo Debbie
Comment by debbie— December 17, 2011 #
Oh Lanie what wonderful kindness you have taught your children. I love their way of seeing the world. A beautiful beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. All my love to you all.
Comment by Amy Johnson— December 17, 2011 #
WOW thats beautiful!
Comment by Natasha— December 17, 2011 #
Goosebumps! I am thinking of you and your family so much right now, with love.
Comment by dilovely— December 18, 2011 #
Lanie, All your children are beautiful.
Comment by hillary— December 19, 2011 #
What a lovely story! (Goes with the lovely kids.)
Comment by Eden— December 19, 2011 #
Just when I think I could not be more proud of you and the kids or love you all any more than I do, I read this blog again and I realize I am more proud of you and love you more every day and every moment.
Thank you for sharing a little bit of who you are with the world — and thank you for sharing your life with me.
Comment by Evan— December 19, 2011 #
You and Evan and all of your children are truly amazing people. I love Evan’s comment. Thank you for sharing with us your life and this beautiful story!
Comment by Kristen— December 20, 2011 #