The King & Queen of July’s Birthday (with a side of bittersweet)
July 30, 2013 at 10:08 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, normal?, twins | 4 CommentsTags: baby loss, bittersweet, child loss, death of a baby, gratitude, happy birthday, Jewish customs, King and Queen of July, life after loss, new not so normal, parenthood, perspective, twins, yahrzeit
A few years ago (not long after they learned to speak) the twins announced that they are the King and Queen of July. It is after all, their birthday month and we (me and Evan) should never forget to plan accordingly. The twins did have a fun birthday. I can not say that they were overjoyed the whole month. I distinctly remember being told I was “making it the worst July ever” on a few occasions after I asked them to clean up their toys, brush their teeth or take a bath. . .
I am forever grateful for our amazing twins. I am so lucky that I am their mom and getting the chance to raise them. Happy, happy birthday to the King and Queen of July!
The bittersweet part of the twins’ birthday was that this year Jake’s yahrzeit fell on the same day. A Yahrzeit is the Hebrew date of the deceased relative’s death according to the Jewish calendar as opposed to the secular calendar. We lit a Yahrzeit candle. We said the mourner’s kaddish. I tried my best not to think about the almost 8-year-old big brother who should have been running around the birthday party. I am so very lucky to be Jake’s mom too.
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A Mourning Mom 
Happy birthday to your beautiful twins, and to you too, since giving birth is always a life-changing experience (especially when there are two at once, I imagine!). I love that you said “I am so very lucky to be Jake’s mom too” – I feel the same way about being Sebastian’s mom, even though people don’t assume we would feel that way, and I can’t explain it.
Comment by Dilovely— July 30, 2013 #
Happy Birthday to 2 gorgeous 6 year olds! You are a fabulous mama to all 4.
Comment by Daphne— July 31, 2013 #
When did they get so big and grown up? Amazing. You write so well of a bittersweet month and celebration. Thinking of you all. Happy Birthday Fletcher and Alyssa!
Comment by Amy Johnson— July 31, 2013 #
We’re glad we had a chance to see them in person post-b-day to celebrate! It sounds like it was a “glowing” celebration…and bittersweet indeed.
Comment by eden pontz— August 6, 2013 #