A Mourning Mom

November 17

Sawyer,
It is me again.  I keep losing track of days.  Your 3rd birthday would/should be in 3 days.  November 17th is not only your birthday but it is World Prematurity Day.  You were not premature but your big brother Jake was 14 weeks early.  In fact, you were 8 lbs and 1 oz and perfect.  I know that  if you were here you would be okay sharing your birthday with Jake’s cause.

This year is also the first Global Week of Action for child survival.  The 13th-20th of November this campaign will try to “bring people together across the globe to raise their voices against the unacceptable number of children dying before their fifth birthday from preventable causes”.   I do not know if your cause of death was preventable.  I am still hoping to know for sure one day.  I hope that where ever you are you know your dad and I would have done anything to protect you.  I still cannot believe that I could not save you.

I do not know if I cry because I am weak or strong.  I do not care either way.  I just cry and miss you.  Love you always and forever.