Miscarriage

May 28, 2012 at 10:28 pm | Posted in Grief, life after loss, normal?, pregnancy | 18 Comments
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The doctor who told me that I was most likely having a miscarriage put me on bed rest for a few days.    Bed rest for me equals time where my thoughts can take over any rational part of my brain and run wild.  Bed rest means that I can not resort to my usual defense of keeping so busy that I do not have time to think.

I cried on the couch as I watched the twins play.   I was so lucky that my mom was able to come to town.  I told her that she did not need to come.  I knew by the time I spoke to her that no amount of bed rest was going to help.  She said she wanted to come anyway.  I did not argue.

I thought writing about it in my last post would somehow help.  I reread my post and it turns out that I did not actually write what happened.   So here it is, I had a miscarriage.

I will be fine.  I will continue to get up and live just as I have every day, week, month and now years since Jake and Sawyer have died.

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