a special project

July 22, 2015 at 10:36 pm | Posted in Death, Grief, hospital, life after loss, Love, NICU | 12 Comments
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The “consult room” – every hospital has one or several.  The “consult room” is where Evan and I held Jake for the last time. It is where we were when the ER doctor told us that Sawyer was dead. They were different “consult rooms,” in different hospitals but they looked the same. Standard issue plastic couch and chair. Generic flowery art. Striped carpet.

No one wishes to be in these rooms.  The hospital where all 4 of our children were born has a Perinatal Bereavement Office where I volunteer at times.  The extraordinary people who work at the office decided that they were going to renovate the consult room in the Special Care Nursery of the NICU.   I was lucky enough to help with this special project.

One of Evan’s mother’s paintings is now on a wall of the newly decorated consult room.  On another wall there is painting by an artist who is the great-aunt of other parents who also used the room when their little girl, Lily, died.  Her parents helped with this special project too.


This is still a room that I hope none of you have to enter.  I know that realistically there are people who will be in that room holding their precious baby for perhaps the first and last time.  I wish that one day all babies will go home with their parents but until that day I am glad that there is now a warm comforting room where families can spend whatever time they have together.

Evan and I are truly honored by the dedication of this room and that this will be part of Jake and Sawyer’s legacy.



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  1. Lovely tribute that will be lasting.

  2. A mitzvah born of grief. Thank you in behalf of all who will benefit.

  3. A beautiful tribute. xo

  4. Love!

  5. Beautiful project.

  6. Pure love.

  7. This is beautiful Lanie

  8. Beautiful Lanie. Xox💖

  9. Dear Lainie and Evan – It’s a sad but also a beautiful story and I am happy for you to have Jake and Sawyer commemorated in that space.
    My love to all of you. Cornelia

  10. This is amazing. So glad (in a sad way) that you are able to use your pain to help people who need it.

  11. Hello!! My name is Melissa Coffey and I lost my little guy Matthew in 2006. I am reaching out to anyone and everyone I can to find help with my bereavement box project 🙂 I am looking for crafters of any kind who might want to help make tiny baby things for these boxes. I’d love to show you more. My page is here:https://www.facebook.com/matthewsgift

  12. […] life was spent entirely in the NICU.  The only other places Evan and I went with him were the consult room and a small outdoor balcony off of the […]

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