Bereavement Training
October 24, 2013 at 10:14 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, NICU, Sawyer | 6 CommentsTags: baby loss, bereavement training, child loss, compassion, death of a baby, gratitude, kindness, life after loss, new not so normal, ways to honor the memory of your child
Today I, along with several other parents, spoke to a group of nurses as part of their bereavement training. This is the second parent panel I have been a part of in the last few months and I have participated in several others over the years. At times, I find talking about Jake and Sawyer cathartic. I am always hopeful that sharing our story can somehow help others. After each of these panels I have come away with lists of suggestions for nurses and tips for NICU parents.
There is a common theme in all the stories. All bereaved parents want their child/children to be remembered. There will not be the lifetime of memories that hopefully other children will have. The stay in the hospital and every aspect of it is very often all the parents have. The doctors and nurses are big parts of these memories. The kindness and compassion of the medical professionals is so important. I am thankful that bereavement training exists.
No matter how small the baby is or how long the baby lived, parents want their baby treated like every other baby. They want to be treated like every other parent. One mom said she just felt like she was in the middle of a really bad Lifetime movie. We are all hoping that we can change the channel or wake up from the nightmare of outliving our child/children. Unfortunately, this is our reality. Thank you to all those who help us along our way.
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A Mourning Mom 
You are an amazing woman. I am sure all benefited from you being there and sharing.
Comment by Kristen— October 24, 2013 #
I’m so glad you are doing this. It will help so many. Our NICU was terrible at dealing with loss, they even started calling our kids twins right after Hadley passed. I still don’t feel like I have the strength to go back there and work with them on what to do and say, it was just such an awful place for us. Maybe someday.
Comment by Jessica— October 25, 2013 #
Share and share… it changes people. Your words and experiences will make a difference in the patient care and love… your points will help nurses know how to help families with this and help them share and remember…
Comment by climbingupthepolkadottree— October 25, 2013 #
Really great and important work. Thank you, Lanie!
Love to the four of you. Cornelia
Comment by Cornelia Levine— October 25, 2013 #
The support and wisdom you offer is amazing. You are amazing!
Comment by Daphne— October 25, 2013 #
[…] hospital where all 4 of our children were born has a Perinatal Bereavement Office where I volunteer at times. The extraordinary people who work at the office decided that they were going to renovate […]
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