Our Giving Tree
September 18, 2012 at 10:18 pm | Posted in after death?, Grief, Love, normal? | 9 CommentsTags: motherhood, new not so normal, parenthood, ways to honor the memory of your child
The winter after Jake died one of my favorite friend’s mother had a tree planted at a local park in his memory.
Sadly, my friend’s mom died the next year. I had a tree planted next to Jake’s tree in her memory. The two trees were planted near a small pond. In 2009, it rained so much that her tree did not make it. I was in the process of trying to relocate both trees away from the water when Sawyer was born. And then before I knew it he had died.
So I bought 2 trees. A tree to replace my friend’s mom’s tree. And, a tree in memory of Sawyer. All 3 trees are now away from the pond and at the edge of a playground. The first summer after Sawyer died it was really hot. I would go by as often as I could to water the trees. It made me feel like I could take care of something for Sawyer and Jake. All 3 trees made it through the summer but Sawyer’s always seems to be struggling.
I took the twins to the playground last week. I always check on the trees when we are there. The twins often help me.
As Sawyer’s sister “helped” with the tree she happened to pull off a small branch. She asked if she could bring it home to take care of it. I responded, “sure, why not.” When we got home it was bath time. She asked if she could take the branch into the bathtub and wash it. Once again I answered, “sure, why not.”
After the bath she wanted to make pajamas and a blanket for the branch. And, she did.
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A Mourning Mom 
You are an amazing woman and mom. You are truly a gift. Thanks for sharing this story.
Comment by Kristen— September 18, 2012 #
Beyond sweet. Sigh…
Comment by Kelcey— September 18, 2012 #
Alyssa is just as loving and sweet as her Mom is………
Comment by Susan FB— September 19, 2012 #
Love this! So incredibly sweet and innocent.
Comment by Daphne— September 19, 2012 #
I love this, she is finding a way to nurture what she can’t have with her every day. xo
Comment by Jessica (@jessbwatson)— September 19, 2012 #
I planted a cutting from a tree that struggled and struggled and finally took off and is soooo huge and glorious now. On the other hand at the Sundance ceremony I support we have had several trees not make it through harsh winters despite care and attention. But even that gave us opportunity for renewal and new prayers and the trees that died were a strong prayer while they were there. So whatever way it goes it is good and a beautiful thing. The opportunity to plant a tree is always a blessing. Big hugZ!!
Xoxoxo
Comment by Debbie— September 19, 2012 #
Lovely story! Does she still have the branch? If so, have you tried just leaving it in water to see if it starts growing from the clipping?
Comment by Eden— September 21, 2012 #
[…] flowers or a tree in your child’s memory, perhaps in a place you like to visit or that you associate with your […]
Pingback by How to Remember Your Child | A Mourning Mom— February 28, 2014 #
[…] month we went to the playground where trees are planted for Jake and Sawyer. I do not think Sawyer’s tree is doing so well at the […]
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