How to Remember Your Child

February 28, 2014 at 1:00 pm | Posted in Grief, Jake, life after loss, Sawyer | 6 Comments
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I will always remember Jake and Sawyer.  How they looked.  How they smelled.  Their sounds, and the touch of their skin.

Over the years since Jake and then Sawyer have died, we’ve always looked for ways to remember them by trying to build more memories of them.  Maybe it is because we only had weeks with each of them.  Maybe it is because it is a way to keep them a more active parts of our lives.  Maybe it is because that is what we do when we loved ones are no longer present in our lives.

We’ve done things that have made sense to us to remember Jake and Sawyer.  I’ve also come across suggestions (some of which we have taken, some of which we haven’t done) from other resources about ways parents can remember their children who have died.  Some of those ideas include:

  • Create a baby album with all your keepsakes in it.  (This might take different shapes or forms depending on what keepsakes you have.)
  • Make a collage frame, remembrance or shadow box with pictures, mementos and other things that remind you of your child.
  • Plant flowers or a tree in your child’s memory, perhaps in a place you like to visit or that you associate with your child.
  • Participate in walks or runs in your community.
  • Buy memorial bricks (local parks often offer this as a fundraiser).
  • Name a star after your baby.
  • Write.
  • Light candles.
  • Volunteer or work on a special project in your child’s memory.
  • Donate to a child who would be the same age as your child would be.

Do you have any other ideas to share?


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  1. Many lovely suggestions…

  2. The first Christmas after our son passed I snuck our wedding bands out of the house and had our son’s name engraved inside each of our bands as a gift for my husband. We are the only one’s who know it is there.

    • Lovely idea. When we got married Jason was already here so our wedding bands is actually three bands together for us three. I’d love to have his name put inside. Very touching idea.

  3. I love all the ways you remember Jake and Sawyer, and I love how you include Fletcher and Alyssa when you do those things, that’s wonderful. To remember is to honor. It’s on a way different tangent, but on the anniversary of my dad’s death every year my mom always makes him a bourbon and soda and leaves it for him where he died along with a lighted candle. Sometimes the candle burns all night. Pretty cool.

  4. I feel my son, Jason, at my right shoulder all the time. His guidance every day is felt. His message before he died was clear and is still clear. He wanted and wants me to just be happy. In his honour I seek ways to live a joyful life, one that is rich and happy. When I am with friends and family I find ways to bring him up with memories good and bad…he was 41 when he died so I have a lot! Jason never wanted to be forgotten, nor glorified, just remembered as he was.

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