August 8, 2015 at 10:44 pm | Posted in Grief | 4 Comments

It is hard for me to believe but these 2 celebrated their 8th birthday!  I am so thankful and lucky to be their mama.


And, the twins started 3rd grade last week.  Here is a picture from the big 1st day.


I did my best to focus on the positive.  The first few days of August were so busy with birthday fun and getting ready to go back to school that I almost forgot to brace myself for the bittersweet days.

I did not let myself think about Sawyer who would have started kindergarten.   I tried to ignore the dates on the calendar.  I know it is not possible but I really want to find a way to skip this month.   I am not ready.  I do not know how to live through the 10th anniversary of Jake’s death.  I will get through this August just like the other 9 Augusts without Jake – I just do not know how.

According to the Jewish calendar the 10th anniversary/yahrzeit of Jake’s death was actually on Thursday.  So maybe I lived through it already.


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  1. What beautiful, happy children. I know you and Evan are very proud of them as you should be. Wishing the kids a great year in school.

  2. It’s ok to have the bittersweet and sad days too. xo

  3. Third grade! Wow. May they have a great year in school – and out. They look so happy. That must make you happy and shows that you’ve done a good job. Give yourselves kudos for that. My best to all of you. Cornelia

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    Bittersweet | A Mourning Mom

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