Frog & Toad
May 20, 2012 at 11:50 pm | Posted in Grief, twins | 7 CommentsTags: child loss, dark days, death of a baby, Jake, post traumatic stress disorder, Sawyer, twins, unexplainable
“What is the matter, Toad? You are looking sad.”
“Yes,” said Toad. “This is my sad time of day.”
Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel
After Sawyer died I cried a lot in front of the twins. They were 2 1/2 year olds at the time and did not ask too many questions about my tears. Now, over 2 years later, the twins ask questions about everything and I rarely cry in front of them. The sadness is still there but I have better control over it. Every once in a while it gets the best of me and the tears leak out against my will. Today was one of those days. I know it is not just today – it has been creeping up on me over the last few months.
I know that there will be other days when the tears take over. It is ok to be sad but it is also ok to be happy. If not for me than for them.
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A Mourning Mom 
It is all okay. I am sorry that it is so hard, and I am sorry I can’t be there for you more. Fletcher and Alyssa are two wonderful and very lucky kids to have you. – with love, Amy
Comment by Amy Johnson— May 21, 2012 #
I think that you are teaching your children a wonderful lesson by letting them see you happy, and sad. You are teaching them that it is OKAY to FEEL. That my friend, is a gift.
– Linda
Comment by The Good Cook— May 21, 2012 #
That’s right on — sad is okay, happy is okay. Great pictures of the kids!
Comment by Daphne— May 21, 2012 #
Feeling our feelings is important! You are teaching them (and us) so much. Love the pics.
Comment by Kristen— May 21, 2012 #
My heart goes out to you. It is okay to be sad. It shows your children that sorrow is a natural part of life.
Comment by cecemom— May 21, 2012 #
Well I came over because of a comment you left on anotehr blog, the title of this post had me curious from the start. You see I have a favorite comment from the Frog and Toad series. Toad lost his button and he screams out “the whole world is covered in buttons and not one of them is mine.” I feel like that I feel like the whole world is covered in pregnant ladies and Not one of them is me! I am sorry that you are sad and you had a loss, I am sorry that I haven’t read your blog the whole way and I am just jumping in and I am sorry that I am too angry tonight to leave a more thoughtful comment.
Wishing you peace tonight.
Comment by mccgoods— May 21, 2012 #
Dear Lanie – Those are the most delectable pictures of Fletcher and Alyssa! Enjoy them and have fun with them. Love to all four of you.
Cornelia
Comment by Cornelia R. Levine— May 22, 2012 #