Anniversaries (repost)
September 12, 2012 at 12:12 am | Posted in Anniversaries, Grief, life after loss, mourning | 2 CommentsTags: child loss, life after loss, new not so normal, thoughts, tragedy
The tragedy of 9/11 and its’ anniversary are kinds of grief. It is of course, an enormous source of grief for all of the families and friends who lost loved ones. It is also the kind of grief in which you realize that the world as you knew it will not ever be the same.
Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans the week that Jake passed away. A very close friend of mine took her 5-year-old son in for his check up and the pediatrician found a rare heart condition. My grandmother had died. I felt like the world was coming to an end. So, I asked the rabbi who presided at Jake’s funeral about the possibility that the world was ending. He replied with an analogy. He said that it is like when you decide you are going to buy a certain kind of car. Once you make the decision you start seeing the car every where. So, my take away from his explanation was now that I was grieving I would start to see grieving every where. . . Turns out you don’t have to look too far for grief in this world. The record 7.0-magnitude earthquake hit Haiti shortly after Sawyer died.
I know that 9/11, where close to 3,000 people died; Hurricane Katrina, where 1,500-1,700 people died; and the earthquake in Haiti, where almost 230,000 people died are tremendous losses compared to the death of two babies. But, those babies were mine. And, my world will never be the same as it was before they had died.
There is not a contest for who has the most grief. I am not trying to compare my losses to these catastrophic tragedies. There are not any winners here. In grief we have all lost. However, there is still the next day and the day after that. And one day, there is a point where we will realize that our loved ones are dead but we are still alive.
I have previously posted this on 9/11. On the anniversary and every day, my heart, prayers and thoughts go out to not only the victims but to those who they left behind in this world.
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A Mourning Mom 
Hi Lanie. Thank you for this post. I hope that feeling the connection between your grief and those of others worldwide can bring you a tiny bit of solace. You are right we don’t have to look far. It is one of the hugest shared human experiences; even a our own grief is in another way completely personal. It is a link, a knowing you are not alone even in your grief.
Comment by Debbie— September 12, 2012 #
Yes, Lanie. Very well said.
Comment by Daphne— September 12, 2012 #