People & Planning

October 10, 2010 at 11:20 pm | Posted in Grief, mourning | 6 Comments

A very wise man, my 98-year-old grandfather, has told me for years that “mentsch tracht, Gott lacht.”   For those of you (like me) who don’t speak yiddish this means “men make plans and G-d laughs.”  I have updated the saying just a little to “people make plans and G-d laughs.” 

Historically, I have been a planner.   I could write on and on about plans I have made and how somewhere my plans are the source of a lot of laughter.   Instead of boring you with all the broken plans, I will just give a few examples.

I had always planned/hoped to be a mother.   As you have read that plan did not go exactly as I had envisioned.   I have learned some very hard lessons about planning.   I have learned to make plans and then change them and then change them again.     

Another example, this blog.   I had planned to write in chronological order about Jake, the twins and then Sawyer.   That plan went out the window with this post.  And, I continue to interrupt myself.   Thank you all who are following me on this journey.   Turns out it is not such a straight path. 

So, today I am making a new plan.   My new plan is not to have a plan.


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  1. I have always said, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans” little did I know how true this would ring in my own life.

  2. Good plan — that “no plan” thing! Let me know how it works out for you. No matter what, I’ll keep following you on whatever convoluted journey you take.

  3. Dear Lanie – I do like your latest plan! It takes a while to learn and you have a big assignment.
    Your digression from your previous intention reminds me of what Larry called his “Jewish parenthethes.” In talking and in lecturing he would sometimes make sweeping diversions and then apologize before getting back to the narrative he was telling. Maybe, your genetic material shares some traits with your cousin’s. I’m not sure, apologies were necessary. Your writing is wonderfully clear and focussed. It is a pleasure to follow you.
    It was great seeing you and meeting Fletcher and Alyssa! Keep up your mothering of those two precious and funny kids.
    Love, Cornelia

  4. I wonder if without his parentheses, Larry would have attained genius status. I didn’t realize they had a Talmudic basis, but I certainly share the tendency.

  5. I agree – going through years of infertility, then multiple losses…I laugh when people are so naive to think that their PLANS actually mean anything when it comes to building a family.

  6. I have just recently become aware of a strange habit I have. I always want to know what people were doing October 10, 2010.

    This is the day my son was born (he died 33 hours later), and I have a strange urge to know what people were doing/writing about on this day.

    Your post seems prophetic. No straight lines, and God laughing at me for attempting to make plans.

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