December 25, 2010 at 10:45 pm | Posted in Death, Grief | 13 Comments
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One year ago tonight was the last time I held Sawyer.  At 10:45 pm we kissed him good night for the last time.

There are stars above,

so far away we only see their light

long, long after the star itself is gone.

And so it is with people that we loved

Their memories keep shining ever brightly

though their time with us is done.

But the stars that light up the darkest night,

these are the lights that guide us.

As we live our days, these are the ways we remember.

— Author unknown

I had plans to finish Sawyer’s story but I just cannot find the words right now.  I will find them another day.




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  1. I love you, Lanie.

  2. I have been thinking of you, Evan and the twins all day. Love you —

  3. Your words show such incredible love and such heart wrenching loss. Your words create memories of your sons in those who were never fortunate enough to have met them. Thank you again for sharing. We are thinking of you and Evan now and always.

  4. Blessings to you as you remember your little one. I’m so sorry. “Love does not die, it grows like the stars in the Universe”


  5. Been thinking of you constantly over Christmas. Sending love.

  6. Thinking of you with love and comfort as you make it through today.

  7. Ive been thinking of you all day today and yesterday. All your words are beautiful.

  8. I found your blog through the Caring and Coping newsletter. I’ve read some of Sawyer’s story, and I’m so very sorry. I really hate those words, I’m sorry, because they really don’t convey the deep sadness I feel for you. Thank you for writing and sharing your story. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family as you deal with this daily and as you relive this time one year ago.


  9. There are no words to express my sadness and I can’t imagine how difficult the Christmas season is for you. I’m so sorry. Continuing to send prayers and love your way.

  10. We love and miss you! We are praying for everyone in your family everyday…

  11. We always think of you guys–but at this time of year, the thoughts are stronger than ever. We love you all!

  12. Came here via The Spohrs are Multiplying and I just want to give my support. ((hugs))

  13. Also here via Heather’s site. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your little ones, near and far.

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