Advice for moms & dads

August 13, 2010 at 2:00 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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I was not planning to write a post today but I seem to be compelled to write anyway.   As I have learned time and time again plans can be made but they frequently change.  My husband and I went to a memorial service this morning.  It was for an 8 month old baby girl of a friend and co-worker. 

There are so many things that moms give each other advice about: diapers, bottle feeding, breast feeding, potty training, this list could go on and on but you get the point.  There is no advice to give to a mother or father who have just lost their child. 

Having buried 2 children, I felt like I should be able to say some words of wisdom.  Although the circumstances were different the result was the same – our children are no longer with us.  Maybe writing this blog will help me figure out something magic to say to other bereaved parents or maybe not.  I am just going to keep writing and see what happens.

As I stood in line to pay my respects to the parents I realized I have nothing helpful to say.  There are no steps to follow, there are no other options to try or videos to watch.  It is just there – enormous amounts of sorrow and grief.  Lost hopes and dreams for your child and your family.  

So, when it was my turn to speak to the parents I just gave them a hug.


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  1. I couldn’t agree more!

  2. Sometimes that is the most strength you can give someone. You are a good friend.

  3. I did not think I could admire you any more than I already do. You are an amazing woman. Thanks for writing so honestly.

  4. Not much you can say, you having been there was enough for them to know that you knew exactly how they were feeling.

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