Beaches & Bad Questions

July 24, 2011 at 10:36 pm | Posted in Grief, mourning, parents, twins | 3 Comments
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I have always found the beach to be very peaceful.  However, it is not always super relaxing when you go with children.

I had to leave the last few days to go to work.  I did not plan the week this way but had to change things around because of the previous week.

I am a consultant and often go to offices where I have never met anyone before I arrive.  I taught a class where we were waiting for a few minutes for everyone to show up.  While waiting the people already there were talking about their dogs.  They asked me if I have any dogs.  Easy question.  I have 2 dogs.  I even showed pictures of the dogs with the twins.  All is well.

The last person to leave the class turns to me and says, “I do not mean to get personal but are you going to have more children?”  I thought I had completely avoided the “how many children do you have” question with the easy dog conversation.  No such luck.

After thinking for a few moments, I tell her that we already had more children.  Jake was very premature.  Sawyer was full term, went to sleep and did not wake up.  I quickly change the subject.

Later the same day, I am working with someone who is receiving texts from his daughter.  He asks if I have children.  I answer that we have twins at home.  I think this answer sounds pretty good.  And, then there it is again. . .”Do you think you will have more children?”

Sometimes I think that I should consider going into some kind of work where talking is not required.  .  .


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  1. Your answers were perfect. Great pictures.

  2. Lanie,
    I remember those days when our children were young and we would go to the beach. Constant motion. Sand everywhere! Enjoy the time now you have to share in the wonder of the sea and sand with your little ones. I walk the beach alone now several times a week. Sometimes it brings me peace and sometimes it brings me to my knees for the memories.

    So far as the questions… what is wrong with complete strangers? If grief has taught me one thing it has taught me manners. I know not to ask such questions… people have asked me if I am going to marry again…What??? If you have an answer to that one please let me know, so far all that I can come up with is a blank stare.


  3. Amazing how people feel the need to ask questions like that. But it sounds like you gave the best answers for the moment. Love the pictures!

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