My Real World

June 22, 2011 at 11:02 pm | Posted in Grief, mourning, silver lining, twins | 3 Comments
Tags: , , , , ,

“Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
 – Albert Einstein

Some mornings I wake up and have to remind myself of my reality.  Is it true I have out lived 2 of our children?  Was Jake really born 14 weeks early?  Was Sawyer just a brief wonderful figment of my imagination?  After the morning fog clears I know with unnerving certainty that they are both dead and I am alive. 

People tell me (and I remind myself) how lucky I am to have the twins.  Which of your children would you live without?  Why can I not wake up in the morning with all 4 of my children? 

I get up and face the day.  I try my best to focus on my simplicity, my harmony and my opportunity:


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Lanie, no mother should have to know your reality. You do a beautiful job of finding harmony and opportunity in the simple things. Your insight and strength is inspirational. You are making a wonderful legacy for ALL of your children, EVERY day.

  2. It isn’t anywhere close to fair.

  3. We have an older son and then a set of twins of which the girl had a cord accident at 24 weeks and then delivered them at 30 weeks. Her twin brother is doing great. But I sometimes feel like I’m cheating or whining or not appreciating all that went into her twin brother being in such great shape by mourning her. I know intellectually it’s not right, but still happens.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: