Exhaustion
December 12, 2010 at 11:44 am | Posted in Grief, mourning, twins | 2 CommentsTags: child loss, grief, life after loss, twins
At the beginning of December last year a series of unrelated events began to happen at our house. First, one of the twins had a crazy reaction to his H1N1 booster. It was like there was a big red ring around his arm. I took him to our pediatrician (and friend). We got a referral to an allergist.
Second, Sawyer continued to have congestion. We were told when he was released from the NICU that he still had extra fluid and that he might have some congestion. So, we tried not to worry about it too much. One set of my in-laws came to visit and meet Mr. Sawyer that first week of December, 2009. Evan took Sawyer to the pediatrician at the end of that week. The pediatrician said that Sawyer was congested but it was very normal for a newborn to have extra fluid or possibly a cold. We had been putting saline drops in his nose a few times a day and that seemed to clear up the congestion. The pediatrician said to continue the saline and Sawyer would be fine.
Third, was the croup. The twin without the reaction to the H1N1 shot started to cough like a seal. I had never heard of croup but quickly found out about it when I took her to the pediatrician. She had to have breathing treatments but did not have to be hospitalized. The twins, who had been sleeping through the night (for the most part) for over a year, were now up quite a bit.
Sawyer was over 8 lbs. and he would go at least 3 hours between feedings. However, between the feedings, the twins and life in general exhaustion began to set in. I knew that lack of sleep was common with a newborn. I also believed that we would find some balance in our lives which would involve more sleep.
As I wrote about in this post, time can be tricky. Someone told me the following:
Nights with a baby can be long but the days go by very quickly.
We had no idea just how quickly our days with Sawyer would go. Despite being tired, our days with Sawyer were much brighter and I am so very grateful for every one of them.
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A Mourning Mom 
It sounds so much like the normal December and newborn craziness that it’s almost impossible to believe what came next. Love to you, Lanie.
Comment by Daphne— December 13, 2010 #
Thanks for the continued storytelling. I don’t know that balance is ever perfectly achieved. (Well, at least in our house it isn’t.)
Comment by eden— December 13, 2010 #